“Mr. Hurst looked at her with astonishment.
''Do you prefer reading to cards?'' said he; ''that is rather singular.''
''I prefer a great many things to cards, Mr. Hurst,'' said Elisabeth; ''Not the least of which is the sensation of a newly sharpened blade as it punctures the round belly of a man.''
Mr. Hurst was silent for the remainder of the evening.”
“Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do; for I shall not have my best warrior resigned to the service of a man who is fatter than Buddha and duller than the edge of a learning sword.”
“Mr. Bingley observed the desserts his poor servants had been attending to at the time of their demise - a delightful array of tarts, exotic fruits and pies, sadly soiled by blood and brains, and thus unusable.”
It stays relatively true to the original, I think (it's been a few years since I read the original though). So if you aren't too fond of romance, but love classics, horror and a healthy dose of black humor, you should definitely check out this book! The language is similar to the original though, so keep that in mind if you have trouble with that. I also recommend Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter by the same author, and the movie adaptions!
Get the book here!
Oh, and if anyone can recommend any books similar to these, let me know!